Last summer I kept hearing good things about a little movie called 500 Days of Summer. One day, while I was feeling completely miserable about my love life and my head was in a complete funk, I went to the theater and caught it during the matinee wondering whether this movie would actually make me feel better. From the opening scene, the movie had me enthralled and by the end of the movie I’d laughed, cried, and overall gotten the emotional makeover I’d been after.
Fast forward to the winter, and I bought the movie on DVD. After watching it a few more times, I can honestly say that it has now become one of my all-time favorite movies. The story is so completely real and painful at parts, yet at the end of the film, you’re left with a sense of hope and for me at least, the knowledge that everything that happens, happens for a reason.
2009 was a difficult year for me. I was stuck in a seemingly endless limbo where I didn’t know what to do and how to get there. To quote another of my favorite movies, I felt like I was “standing in the middle of a crowded room screaming at the top of my lungs and no one even looks up.” There were so many parts of myself that had somehow gotten lost in the shuffle and last year I spent the better part of it trying to reconnect with a part of me I had somehow misplaced. Well, here we are in 2010 and in a way I feel as if I’ve reacquired some of it, but there’s still a long way to go.
I turned 24 last week. A birthday always feels like a fresh start for me—a new beginning—and it’s really made me contemplate my life as it stands right now. There’s a large part of me that still feels as if I’m right back where I was last year, but there’s another part of me that knows I’ve grown. There’s also something that was lacking in some parts of last year—hope. Hence my reference to the movie. I’ve realized that nothing is ever as it seems and every point of my life has led me to another part of it. Sometimes seemingly good things lead to horrible experiences in my life and other times, bad things lead to incredibly wonderful experiences that I could never have imagined. But at the end of the day, everything happens for a reason—everything that’s happened in life has brought us to where we are today for better or worse.
I guess I’m just writing to say that although 2010 hasn’t brought anything extraordinary yet, the year is young.